Crazy Concerts

As I drove my girlfriend home tonight and daydreamed (at night) of the upcoming vacation to Maine and Boston, I thought of all the crazy stuff I've witnessed. Though I'm virtually a noob still at concert attending, I've seen a decent share of crazy fans, and crazy performers. So without further ado, here's the top 10 crazy things I've seen.

10. The Smoker - AC/DC
During "Back in Black", while everyone is going crazy, this dude just came up and sat next to me, lit a Marlboro and just sat on the step and just nodded along, like all is right in the world. Security didn't care because too much insanity was going on down on the floor.

9. The misguided Drunk - Rush
So Rush is wrapping up their second set at Nissan Pavilion with their famous instrumental, "YYZ". This drunk guy wandered over towards us and we all learned that apparently, there are lyrics to this wonderful song. Then proceeded to try and become our friend, and flirt with Beth.

8. King Kong guitarist - Airborne
I was hypnotized by the volume and power these guys brought, but somewhere between the hippy girl's seizure like dancing and the beer being sprayed on the audience, the lead singer and guitarist climbs the 9ft tall speaker tower on the side of the stage at the Recher and released a hellish solo on to the masses.

7. The Nazi in a trench coat - The Killers
There we are, an icy night in Fairfax, Virgina, rocking out in the Patriot Center. In the middle of a song, this guy climbed on stage wearing shorts, a trench coat, and to finish of the insanity plea, a black Nazi combat helmet. He takes the stage and begins dancing. Since no one acted on it we assumed it was some abstract weird happening the Killers put together, since they tend to be a more of a European phenom than American. Brandon Flowers stops singing to say "Do we have security in this place? Anyone know who this is?" Security promptly sweeped in, landing a devastating shoulder block and dragging the guy off stage.

6. The Monster Mosh - Motorhead
So to make a long story short, during Motorhead's set at the Metal Master's Tour at the Nissan Pavilion, about 1/3 of the lawn area turned into a massive mosh pit, involving what looked to be up to 300 people at one point. It was a breath taking scene, that was scary, yet fun to witness.

5. Body Count - Metal Masters Tour
Long story short again, Beth and I were keeping a count of the people being thrown out by security from the pavilion. We stopped counting around 30 or so. An all around insane show. Never mind the two friends who were on the blanket next to us who were hugging and laughing during Motorhead, but by the time Heaven and Hell hit the stage, they were throwing punches at each other. MMmmm Alcohol.

4. Dude in the Diaper calls the shots - George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
My girlfriend and I attended this show, which was incredibly long, and incredibly awesome. But something magical was going on. We were watching a Jam band with just a leader calling what to play. This leader was not George, but a dude wearing nothing but a diaper and some Nike's. Mel and I had both scoped him out on youtube, but never realized how important he was. The music was so groovalicious, I could barely walk out.

3. Boob Cam - Ozzy Osbourne
So while Zakk Wylde was soloing away at the Verizon Center, the camera for the big screen basically panned and scanned the audience for bare chests of women to broadcast on the big screen. They would zoom in on a hot chick until she would expose her self. According to one innocent soul I told of this, "Thats illegal".

2. Pot Chimney - Aerosmith
So the blanket in front of us on the lawn at Nissan never really seemed to be paying attention to the show, having never stood, or anything. They just sat in a circle, and as the show went on, a thicker and thicker plume of smoke came from the "stew pot" of hippies. Before I knew it, I had a heavy duty contact high and felt as if I was 10 feet tall, and I was pretty hungry.

1. Get off my boyfriend - Iron Maiden
After the show, walking out amongst the bikers and metal heads, a fist flew past my face, and into the back of the neck of the guy in front of me. He then turns and looks at me, but I quickly duck as the dude behind me admits to throwing the punch. But, before the guy can retaliate, this thick, butch woman jumps on the dude's back and puts him in a sleeper hold, better known as by old school WWF fans as, The Million Dollar Dream. She then begins screaming "Get off him! Don't you touch him, Back off!" But it didn't much matter as the dude was turning red, then purple, as his eyes closed. From the dialogue, it was obvious that it was the dude's own girlfriend beating up her boyfriend to spare him an "ass whoopin'". We rolled out quick after that, as we watched drunk and stoned headbangers try to find their car in the field. I did overhear this nugget of a line "Why don't we just call the police and ask if they have seen your car?" "Yeah, that's a great idea, I'll tell them I can't find my green Dodge Neon with the Deceptacon logo sticker on the trunk. You're a genius."

Well folks, that's my list, I hope you enjoyed it. It felt good to write such a light-hearted entry for once. I didn't feel compelled to write about Michael Jackson, being that about 6 months ago or so, I had wrote, almost forecasting his death, how he would be this generations great loss to music.

This list is why I go to these shows. Its all about the music and the people and sharing it with them. Good night. Thanks for reading.